Have you been only dating people from your own ethnic background, to find that no matter what you try, there just seems to be no spark or real passion occurring in the relationship? Are you just about ready to give up on finding a soul mate? Well before you lose all hope in the dating world, you may want to try exploring dating someone who comes from a different culture than you. Who knows, you may just discover that a multicultural relationship is what you need to discover that special spark you’ve been searching for.
One of the best ways that you can explore your dating options, without having to worry about pressures from friends or family, is to join an online dating community, such as Love Empire, which is designed to bring you close to those who share the same interests as you, regardless if they are black, white, Eurasian and so on.
Love Empire allows you the chance to really explore the beauty of the multicultural dating world with no strings attached, and no outside judgments interfering with your choices. In this online dating community the only opinion that matters when it comes to dating is your own. Therefore, listen to you heart, trust your feelings and use your common sense to decide what’s best for you. Besides, the whole point to dating is to have fun, and to enjoy the company of the person you choose to be with.
There is true potential in being apart of a multicultural relationship in today’s society, as these relations have really become a more common and accepted part of Western culture. Because of this, blacks, whites, Eurasians and other ethnic groups have more reason to mix together than any other time in history. For instance, it has been estimated that in Britain alone, over 30 percent of black men are either living with or are married to white women, and over 20 percent of black women are living with or married to white men. When you stop to think about that, it’s truly beautiful to know that something such as multicultural relationships has grown from a small minority and become common and socially recognized.
Don’t be afraid to believe in love and companionship, no matter what others may think of your interracial dating. Remember, the most important ingredient to any relationship is love. No force on this Earth is greater than that of love, and once you find it gender, age, race, and religion are nothing more than small details that add to the beauty of the individual you love.

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Relationships, love and in particular jealousy and present each of us
with a unique opportunity to better understand ourselves. Jealousy
is most often the result of attachment and expectations, beliefs,
projections, delusions, envy, guilt and low of self-esteem.

What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your
lover has been with someone else. If he or she has, you might go
into a rage. It is a fairly common and immediate response. You are
angry. You feel violated. You want revenge. You want to stop what
is happening, control the situation, and manipulate whatever you can
to protect yourself.

If you can cool down, if you can control this internal, knee jerk
reaction, you just might discover that you have an alternative.
Often, what feels like jealousy really is a lack of communication.
When we leave our needs unspoken, they can lie in wait like a
crouching tiger until someone, something or some event exposes them.
It is essential to communicate very clearly and explicitly with your
partner about your needs and expectations.

It is important to understand the distinct difference between loving
and being attached. It is an important distinction because so
frequently what we call love is really attachment.

Loving someone means loving the uniqueness of that person.
Attachment is quite different. You can love your partner and want to
see them thrive, enjoy, and grow. You want to see them become more
of who they are. That’s the truth of love. On the other hand, you
may want your partner conform to a preconceived idea of what you
think they should be or perhaps to what is convenient or comfortable
for you. That is Attachment. This is a distinction that needs to
be understood before you can understand your relationship or what
needs to be done.

If your relationship is based on Attachment, you will quickly
discover and experience the pain of jealousy. Our life, our
surroundings and the people around us mirror what is going on inside
us. If you are angry, you will find yourself living in an angry
world. You will see the anger in all the people around you and you
will feel it. Perhaps in your situation it isn’t anger, but instead
it is depression or fear or jealously. What you focus on is what you
get. Wouldn’t it be far more enjoyable to feel and focus on joy,
happiness, fulfillment and love?

Mirrors are a good thing because they give us an opportunity to
observe what is going on in ourselves and take care of it. Whatever
illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault, the
jealousy is within you, a mirror of what is going on inside you.

Attempting to manipulate and control your lover is a poor solution.
Manipulation of your partner is an external attempt to “fix” an
internal problem. Looking inward, you can use the situation that
caused the jealousy to bubble up into your consciousness as an
opportunity to clarify communication between the two of you, to
better understand yourself and your partner.

Jealousy is like an onion, layers of misunderstanding, misperceptions
and misleading which can be overwhelming and so difficult that it
makes you cry. When you attempt to blame and control your partner,
you refuse to acknowledge that these layers are within you. If you
work at peeling off the layers, you can reach the core of the
problem, you can achieve the possibility of self-understanding and
freedom from the hurt and pain.

The first layer is your subconscious ideas and feelings about how one
is supposed to act in a relationship. What do you believe and where
does this belief come from? Do you believe that your partner is your
possession? Can one person actually be the possession of another?
Should they be? If you believe that you must possess the other
person, then you are not in a loving relationship. Whatever control
you think you exert over your partner, you cannot really touch the
inner uniqueness that comprises a human being. You may occasionally
control your partner, but you cannot make a person love you.

As you continue to go deeper inside you reveal even more layers of
this “onion” including projection, envy and guilt. By peeling away
these layers, you can reach awareness. Projection, envy, and guilt
are nothing more than pointers to the truth behind your feelings.
Becoming aware of what you are actually feeling and discovering the
source behind it can give you the power to alleviate the pain. If
you can reveal the true feelings, separate them from the perceived
jealously, it is possible to relieve the pain.

If you would like to read this article in its entirety, visit
www.newhynotherapy.com and remember, you do not need to experience
jealously. You do not need to control another and you do not need to
be afraid. You can choose to move away from those feelings. You can
experience love itself deeper and deeper within its own fullness.

Linda Simmon, C.Ht.

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