A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests brought the two of you together as a couple, but the bond has not been set completely. Besides the fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or not the two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, it is a must if the two of you are going to build a lasting bond.

Having a strong longing and passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keep the bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain having that strength under all kinds of circumstances. There will be times, for example, when you as a couple are not living in your most passionate times. This is natural and does not mean there is no longer love or desire. As your relationship deepens, you will go through many experiences and stages that may put your romance and frequent hot sex aside for a while. This is where friendship comes in and why it is so important. You should be there for each other and understand your partner’s situations and concerns. Just take a look at your friends. See what makes your friendship with them so great. You then need to see if your partner has those same similarities or exact (sticking up for you when you need the back up for instance) qualities. Another point to keep in mind is keeping yourself aware of what behavior you would not except from a friend. You should definitely not accept those behaviors from your mate (like standing you up all the time) either.

It is not easy to put our friends and lovers in the same comparison because we are in love with our partners, and therefore will be more patient with them than we would with our friends. You can easily blind yourself due to the love you feel for that person and not even realize when he or she is not being a good friend and partner to you. How can you tell? A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well.

You can talk to and confide in each other about anything.

Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone.

Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on.

Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it

Having many things in common

Accepting one another for who we are

Listening to us and considering our opinions important

Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partner’s wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receive the same.

As important as having that great friendship is, it is also good to remember not to let the friendship get out hand. Is it possible to let a friendship get carried away? Yes, in a relationship it is. It is wonderful when you can be best friends with your partner, but sometimes the friendship is doing so well that it receives all the focus, while in the meantime the romance (being in love) has been neglected. If you are not careful, in time, you will start looking at each other as close buddies and no longer be that passionate couple you started as. There are points that can guide you into detecting when your romance and desire is entering the danger zone before it is too late and would be suggestible to seek professional advice on how to get things back on track.

Remembering not to forget our desires for our partner will keep the romance in the picture. If the relationship still fails to rekindle those feelings and you or your partner cannot leave that buddy mode, looking around with curiosity for others, then your relationship will need some extra help (you can get advice on how to save your relationship). What if it is difficult to have a friendship? This can be another issue, but there are ways to help you find solutions. Some couples may share the most wonderful romance and sex ever, but not really have an actual friendship. In most cases, it would not be advisable to stay in such a relationship, but there are ways you can try and still have some hope.

As long as you and your partner remember to keep the romance, love and friendship balanced, your relationship will continue to live in great health, living as long as the both of you wish it to! The decision is yours, so be good enough to yourself and your mate to make the right one. Relationships can seem confusing and hopeless at times, and they can get that way if you do not keep close watch. Stop yourself periodically to check the status of your relationship to makes sure the bond is building, as it should be. Keep in mind that with the right attention and teamwork, the two of you can build the greatest bond. Most importantly, remember that key word you just learned…BALANCE.

About The Author

Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.

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In many instances, we all are “gun shy” after a short-or long-
term relationship, because being hurt or feeling bad is not an
option.

This stinging feeling tends to guide us as we clamor for
something new or fresh. It’s as if the bricks and mortar are
suddenly out and there is a new fortress built conveniently
around your heart.

So when we do meet someone new, how do we know when
a bright future is on the horizon? Furthermore, if we think
we have it, how do we really know?

The heart can be deceptive and initially in a relationship, it
can be very lustful swaying the mind to a sort of natural
high. This period is just that, a period that both people go
through that intentionally attempts to highlight your
positives and suppress your negatives towards the
perspective mate.

We all want to put our best foot forward in any given
situation whether it’s landing a special mate or a good job.
However, when your worst foot inevitably takes place of
your best one is when the real test commences.

In order to properly judge another, one must be able to
accept judging themselves!

None of us are perfect and everyone has flaws, but to what
degree can we accept them not only in others, but
ourselves?

If we all received a piece of paper with a large T on it, and
on either side it listed the pros and cons as the average
person would perceive positives and negatives, we would
most certainly have a “leg up” in the filtering mode.

Most everyone filters through specific traits and qualities
when dating anyone to gauge compatibility and get a better
handle on their odds. So when your filter gets clogged up
after a certain amount of time with their “personal
luggage” as most call it, then it’s time to move on, right?

Well, that depends on you obviously….

These negative aspects usually are not revealed until some
type of commitment has been agreed upon by both people.
Then, the facade and veneer of “look, I have so many
positives and I’m so fun and cool to be around”, evaporates
and real life sets in.

It’s a deal; or it’s deal breaker time…..

When all the chips have fallen and the proverbial
probationary period of lustful highs comes to an screeching
end; a couple is left with what they should have came into
the relationship with in the first place………themselves!

An assessment of sorts or a comprehensive evaluation is
undertaken in some segregated part of your mind and the
conversation is as follows:

“Is this man or woman worth my time? Are we going to
make each other better for being with each other, or does
he or she make me feel something I have never felt before?”
If it’s not the exact internal questions, they certainly are not
far off.

If our intentions are truly built on a “good hearted
foundation” then not hiding the truth about ourselves when
meeting others is a simple task. We can love who we are
inside and then proceed to market that love so someone
else can enjoy it.

However, we hide and not reveal what we know are our
negatives without working internally on them before
proceeding into another relationship, where we can inject
them all over again. If we ironed out our problems before
delving full fledged into another committed relationship,
then we wouldn’t have to “put our best foot forward
because we would have both feet already firmly on the
ground.”

It all starts with you and taking personal accountability for
your own heart and what you truly seek in a perspective
mate.

False impressions of all positives about yourself put a
dishonest spin into a relationship from the get go and point
it for a tenuous at best, future.

When you get to know yourself inside and out and what
you truly want from a relationship is when you will know if
a relationship has a future or not.

Work on eliminating your negative personality traits before
ever pursuing a committed relationship. Then attempt to
efficiently read your perspective mate’s honest intentions
before you invest too much time. If done correctly, you
will have increased your odds exponentially for a long term
relationship and stacked them confidently in your favor.

–by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com
Want to improve your personal values?
Get high-quality-relationship advice for
from a ‘Logical’ standpoint.
Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Help and Advice

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Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind, and I don’t talk to anyone about it. I married my husband when he was 21 and I was 20. After being married six months I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. She was and is the apple of our eyes. She just graduated from college and is doing well in her new career.

Our marriage was not easy. It was constant chaos. I felt as though I had a baby and a 15-year-old son. My husband drank, stayed out late, and when he was home, I was told I had better make it worth his time. I come from a strict Catholic family, and it never entered my mind that divorce was an option.

I kept trying to be a better wife, whether that meant cooking, being sexier for him, wearing makeup all the time, or keeping my house spick and span. When our daughter left for college, it was hard for me. I asked my husband to help me through the process. He told me people want to get rid of their kids and that I should “get a life.”

Our daughter had not been at school more than a few months when she called me at work one day. She was on the computer doing school work and noticed Dad had come home from work and was talking to someone online. She asked if I knew who it was. That was when the nightmare began.

We found love letters between him and a married woman. I felt helpless. It was starting again. Five years ago a woman told me my husband was cheating with a good “couple friend” we had. We would get together with this couple to play cards, and our children played together. Apparently this woman went to my husband, said she was not happy with her sex life, and said she knew I was happy and she wanted a piece of the action.

My husband agreed. He claimed he was doing her a favor, and it was like a job for him. I have since learned of his involvement with at least three other women. This is my question to you. I’m 44, attractive, slim, with a good job. My husband says he has changed, but for some strange reason I can’t believe him.

He asked me to get a boob job and told me all men like big boobs. That basically makes me feel I am worth nothing. I fear my husband looks at our marriage and thinks he may as well stay at this stage of the game because he is 46 and doesn’t want to start over now. My daughter wants me to move in with her, and I feel I would be better off.

Mitzi

Mitzi, the pill bug is a small creature that seeks damp, dark places. Occasionally, however, the pill bug eats the eggs of a tiny worm, and when that happens, a worm hatches inside the pill bug and changes its behavior. The infected pill bug becomes a risk taker who seeks open spaces, where it is likely to be eaten by starlings. This is fine for the worm, which thrives inside the bird, but it is death for the pill bug.

Biologists define symbiosis as the relationship between two creatures who rely upon each other. The relationship is called mutualistic if both creatures benefit; if only one benefits, the relationship is called parasitic. Marriage is supposed to be a mutualistic relationship.

Every religious and legal system allows for divorce in the case of unfaithfulness. Even in the strictest systems of belief, adultery is the one thing which need not be tolerated in marriage, and the Christian expression of this idea is found in Matthew 19:9.

Your husband told you to “get a life.” What a great suggestion. Go get one!

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Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are used trying to repair it, or “get it back”, while the best thing to do might be to look at things in a different perspective. Is the relationship worth fighting for or is it truly a lost cause. There are a few things you can think about while trying to sort things through.

1.) Is your partner still in love or still interested in pursuing the relationship. Sometimes when we lose a love we tend to dwell on what used to be, not on what the relationship is currently about. Of course it was good in the beginning, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended up together. But that stage of the relationship is not always an accurate measure. Its best to look at what is currently happening and evaluate how or why the situation is the way it is at this moment. Sometimes we fall head over heals with someone, then if things go bad, the memories of good times dominate what is really happening at the current time. If both of you are willing to work on your problems you have a good shot at working things out. If not, you need to ask yourself “Are you in love with the memory of the way things used to be, or are you truly happy at this moment”.

2.) Do you realize if you do breakup the hurt will go away. There may be a lot of pain, resentment and jealousy right now, but trust me, if you are willing to move forward, it will pass.
Ask yourself “Do I really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?” The answer should be “No”. If you’re up for the challenge, you will find love again. You deserve to be with someone who will love you back.

3.) Imagine what a mutually loving relationship with someone should feel like. Is it what you have now? If not, maybe your current partner isn’t capable of having that with you for whatever reason. Do you really want to stay and pass up the chance to find true love?

4.) Staying in a relationship for reasons other than love isn’t good for anyone. Some people, knowingly or unknowingly, stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons, such as having a roof over their heads, their bills are paid, they are afraid of being alone or a variety of other reasons. If this is you, you must realize you are a capable individual. Co-dependant relationships will not work. If you really want to lead a fulfilling life, take the steps to become self-sufficient, it can be a very empowering, incredible feeling.

5.) Are you assuming what your partner is or is not feeling? Have you communicated with your partner or have they communicated with you. Sometimes our “inner voices” tell us things that are not true. You may believe that because someone is angry with you, they don’t want to pursue the relationship any longer. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you may believe someone is sending you signals that they do want to be with you or that certain gestures have hidden meaning. In other words, we believe what we want to, not the reality of the situation. Open communication is the only way to resolve these issues and is a necessary part of a loving relationship.

6.) Are you willing to stay in a hurtful or abusive relationship until your partner breaks things off? Some people are so afraid of losing someone they will stay as long as possible no matter what the situation, or they simply are not strong enough to break up themselves.

Once you have seriously considered the above, you should have a pretty good idea where your relationship is headed. You need to be strong for yourself. Life does not end when a relationship does. If you are not happy and you are quite sure things are not going to work out, its time to move forward.

Just remember a couple of things. You deserve to be happy, no one person has the power to make or take your happiness. Only you control your happiness. If you need support seek out friends, family members or a professional. There are also plenty of self-help guides out there to guide you along the way, which ever path you choose.

Lori Grudzien is the Managing Editor of the website LifeChoicesWeb.Com, a website dedicated to “Living a full life, by learning to love yourself”. Topics include Health, Aging, Divorce, Relationships, Career, Stress, Anxiety, Self-Esteem and Self Help.

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A friend of mine recently commented on the amazing number of romance novels written and the huge amount of money being made in that industry. He then shared his observation that these romance novels don’t usually tell their stories beyond the first ninety days or so. He said people just want to read about the romance of falling in love, not of the day-to-day life of being in long-term relationships.

I told him that it’s not necessarily ninety days, but that’s a fair enough number to use for discussion purposes. I went on to tell him that those first ninety days of a relationship set the tone for the rest of the time you’re with someone. Typically, if a relationship goes sour in the first ninety days, it’s not going to survive much longer. If on the other hand, it’s a beautiful first ninety days, then the relationship has a foundation to grow on. In the first ninety days, the atmosphere of a relationship is set. When rough patches occur in the relationship, the couple often looks back to that honeymoon stage for inspiration to work through the problems. If the first ninety days doesn’t create something worth fighting for, then where’s the motivation to keep the love alive?

I thought back on some of my own relationships. I have had three major relationships as an adult. One never had a ‘first ninety days.’ I had decided to marry someone who was just a friend in order to give my two young children a chance at having a dad. The only thing that motivated me to work through the problems was my children’s desire to keep their new dad around. When they quit wanting him around, I was no longer motivated to bother with him. Another one’s ‘first ninety days’ only lasted about a month. By the time the first ninety days was over, I had gotten pregnant despite using two forms of birth control. Again, for the sake of our child, I would try to make it work. However, during that first ninety days, he had cheated on me and done many other horrible destructive things to our relationship. Finding the motivation to stick with him was very difficult. Another one had an amazing and wonderful ‘first ninety days’ that lasted for a year. As a result, I fought tooth and nail to make that relationship work when things weren’t going well. All three relationships had good days and bad, but it was so much easier to believe that we could have a beautiful future together if we’d had a beautiful past together.

The first ninety days is very important. It sets the foundation of ‘happily ever after.’ No relationship can be all perfect all of the time, but with a strong foundation created right from the start, couples have something to hold onto, something to call sacred and holy. That foundation should include elements of romance, trust, magic, attraction, and a likeminded long-term vision of how their life together will unfold. The first ninety days gives you something solid to believe in.

Romance novels typically end with the couple happily married and delighting in the beauty of their children. It’s a safe place to end the story because they’ve already established a rock solid foundation to build their lives upon. Look at the ending of Gone With The Wind. Scarlett and Rhett did not set up a strong foundation at the beginning of their relationship. We were left wondering if he would ever accept her back into his heart. In the sequel, she finally creates ‘the first ninety days’ with him. She had to create an atmosphere of romance, trust, magic, attraction, and a likeminded long-term vision of how their life together will unfold. She had to be the one to do it, because she was the one who refused his attempts to create that foundation in the first movie. He then had to wrestle with his conflicting memories of the first time they had been together as a couple and the second time they were together. He eventually gets in touch with that part of himself that had loved her all along. They finally can end the story with ‘happily ever after’ because the foundation was finally built and accepted as real. It’s not very often that people get a second chance to create the first ninety days.

I love to ask couples who have been happily married for a long time how they met. I also ask them how they knew this was the right person for them. Their stories of the first ninety days are always beautiful and often last longer than ninety days. So many of them are love at first sight stories. So many of them have one basic element that flows throughout the entire story of their relationship. Just like in the first ninety days, every time they really take a long hard look at their partner, they fall in love all over again. There’s something enchanting about that other person that no matter what happens, they keep falling in love with them, over and over and over again. They relive that first ninety days regardless of life’s ups and downs. They seldom tell stories of losing faith in the relationship or of ever really wanting to walk away. .

Romance novels sell so well because we love the stories of romance. Movies are no different than books. Look at some of the all time greatest movies that center around love stories. We love to hear of others setting up such amazing and powerful foundations that can never be torn down. It’s hidden in the depths of the human soul, that need to believe that happily ever after really happens. We especially like to see the couple overcome adversity only to have it bring them even closer together. It gives us hope. It gives us something to aspire to. We love those first ninety days.

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to spirituality, motivation, and inspiration in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, motivation, and parenting. More of her articles can be found at www.tomorrowsedge.net as well as free previews of her books.

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Before the advent of the internet, long-distance relationships were rare. Most people met their mates in school, through a friend or neighbor, at a party or in a bar. In today’s world, it is not unusual for men and women to connect online who live hundreds and even thousands of miles apart.

She lives in Connecticut, he lives in Idaho or she lives in England and he lives in Texas. They exchange emails for awhile, then progress to letters, photos and phone calls. Then finally expensive airline tickets are purchased and they meet! They like each other’s looks, there is a great deal of chemistry, they spend several days or a week together. They have fun, they communicate well, sex is great!

Then one or both have to return to jobs, business or other commitments. They reluctantly part for who knows how long? They have declared their love for each other. Even agreed to marry but plans must be made and life continues while the lovers are apart.

Keeping love alive while separated can be made easier with a plan:

Both of you should agree to be open and honest with each other. Discuss your insecurities and areas of vulnerability.

Talk about thoughts and feelings. This can help you know more about each other than people who are married for many years.

Talk on the phone as often as financially possible. Search for bargain long-distance plans or phone calling cards.

Buy a video camera. You can IM each other and see each other at the same time with no extra cost.

Decide on a time when you can each go outside and look at the stars while thinking of each other. This can be a very intense and spiritual experience.

Decide what constitutes infidelity in each one’s mind. If one of you wants to go out with friends and have a few drinks, how is this viewed by the other party? If you wish to dance with a member of the opposite sex, is this viewed as a social activity or infidelity? If you remain friends with an opposite- sex long-time friend, how is this viewed by your beloved?

Never end a phone conversation on an angry note. Agree to cool off for an hour and then call back when you are both in a better, calmer frame of mind.

When you are feeling down or extra lonely, it helps to talk to friends who are understanding of your long distance love. These friends will not tell you negative things about your mate and will not suggest that he or she may not be trustworthy.

Photos, photos, photos. Send them weekly.

Do not stagnate while you are apart. Continue to do things that interest you instead of allowing yourself to become depressed and focussing on the time when the two of you are together again.

Engage in virtual sex. Tension builds up while you are apart. Sharing self-gratification with your lover on the phone, in a letter or online can make the experience so much better. You can both learn to describe your fantasies and what turns you on so that it is so much better when you get together.

By remaining faithful to each other despite the time apart and the distance, you’re showing each other that it’s safe to trust. During this time, the two of you are growing bonds that will sustain you in problems you may face in the future because you have survived the very difficult relationship pressure of long distance love.

About The Author

Terri Arnold, MS (Spicy Grandma) has been a Psychotherapist for over twenty years. She invites you to visit her friendly, interactive and informative 50 dating community at http://www.spicy-senior-singles.com.

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While this may not apply to everyone, you may find that a second salary brings in substantially less than you thought it would. In the beginning, Rachael thought that since she and her husband were just about breaking even as a couple, that staying home with the new baby would not work — infant needs seemed endless. So she went back to her old job.

After a few weeks, they decided to actually calculate their bottom line with and without her weekly pay. This should not have been a surprise because there was still no extra funds at the end of the month. Rachael’s second income necessitated extra expenses resulting in a near-breakeven budget once again.

When you consider the hidden expenses of a two-income household you must include the obvious ones like child care and commuting costs. Add to this — order-out lunches, and those quickie dinners like take-out or prepared heat ‘n serve selections. Office clothes and dry cleaning will apply to some.

Increased exposure to common illnesses for the child in daycare caused Rachael’s absence from work more often than her single co-worker taking another bite out of her weekly paycheck. Rachael’s second salary pushed them into a higher income tax bracket bringing an added burden at tax time.

If a two-salary income doesn’t work any better than the one-salary did, then your answer has to be the Internet. To accomplish this without household friction, you must have three things going for you: (1) partner’s cooperation: he/she must be willing to share some of the household duties without complaint. (2) your flexibility: to be able to work odd hours like when the baby sleeps, and (3) the biggest of all, sacrifice: working at home will mean giving up a few things until your Internet income equals what you earned offline.

When new mothers were asked what they would be willing to sacrifice to stay at home and work, some of their answers were:

Selling the second car to save on taxes, ins, and loan payments

Cable TV

Wal-Mart weekly stops

Cigarettes; a costly as well as unhealthy expense

Dinners out

Some added their willingness to shop for baby clothes at the thrift-store (they were surprised at the bargains). And almost all have begun coupon shopping; a big savings on the food budget.

The latest research states that 8,500 new home businesses are started every day in the U.S. So if you have been lifting couch cushions looking for loose change, get in on the Internet opportunities but you must be open to all possibilities. When you limit your focus, you limit your choices of income.

Opportunities such as Clickbank or Payaah are two popular avenues that can set you up in a heartbeat with multiple programs under one umbrella. You can hit the ground running, and explore other offers at your leisure.

Works for me.

About The Author

Esther Smith is editor of Partners-For-Profit Newsletter; always a good read, and publisher of http://thepermanentventure.com

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I have been married to a wonderfully grounded woman for nine years, and we have two young children. The problem? My mother-in-law lives from crisis to crisis. She claims to have a “plan,” but it is always the wrong plan and my wife and I are constantly picking up the pieces.

A one year experiment of her living with us turned into a stressful five year stay. We are financially stable, but our oldest child is a special needs child who is draining our financial resources at a healthy clip. When our second child was born, we gave my mother-in-law an ultimatum, and she moved into a house with a female roommate 15 minutes away.

The arrangement lasted two years before the roommate had enough and booted her. She then traveled to California to stay with my wife’s older sister and her family. That arrangement didn’t last six weeks. According to our family in California, she showed more interest in her hair curlers than in her grandchildren.

My wife’s mother is well-educated and in good health. Her first love is writing. She has been working on her “masterpiece” for 25 years, and I am sure it will never be submitted to a publisher. She refuses to pursue financially rewarding work, but she is a great talker. If she were paid by the spoken word, she’d have more money than Bill Gates.

If my mother-in-law knows there’s a safety net, she’ll use it. My wife knows this, too, but in the end she feels obligated to be her mother’s savior. I’ve given plenty of warning in the past by saying if preventable “situation X” recurs, I will not be a party to it. Sure enough, situation X repeats itself, and I’m asked at the last minute to drop everything and provide a solution.

Just yesterday my mother-in-law enlisted our help moving again. She didn’t ask until the moving deadline was less than 48 hours away. I want to support my wife, but I can no longer condone her mother’s behavior. The one blessing is that my marriage is on a solid foundation.

Nathan

Nathan, whether it’s heaven and hell, karma and rebirth, running a prison, or teaching a child, the one idea that runs through all life is that behavior has consequences. When behavior doesn’t have consequences, disorder prevails.

As long as your mother-in-law doesn’t bear the consequences of her behavior, you and your wife will. The problem is this. Your wife feels obligated to meet her mother’s demands, whether those demands are legitimate or not, and your mother-in-law is a master at pushing her daughter’s buttons.

In her book “Emotional Blackmail,” Susan Forward writes, “Every time we capitulate to emotional blackmail, we lose contact with our integrity, the inner compass that helps us determine what our values and behavior should be.” This is why you feel you have had enough of your mother-in-law’s behavior.

Children learn by being given responsibility and suffering consequences when they don’t act responsibly. But your mother-in-law, a grandmother, isn’t learning anything. All these years she has been getting away with it.

Your mother-in-law doesn’t feel bad about the repercussions to you. She is like a gambler gambling with someone else’s money. She is like the teenager whose parents bail her out of every situation. The fewer the repercussions to her, the more destructive and thoughtless her actions can be.

In the old television show “Name That Tune,” contestants competed to name a tune in the fewest number of notes. That is also the key to understanding people who manipulate us. When we can name a manipulator’s tune from the first few notes, we can stop their controlling behavior the instant it begins.

The book “Emotional Blackmail” teaches you the blackmailer’s tunes. It is the perfect antidote for people who feel they have lost themselves in trying to please others.

Wayne and Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

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Gentlemen, if you really want to seduce a woman the right way, you have to make everything revolve around her. Everything!

The seduction starts long before you get into bed together. It starts with your approach. Get rid of the corny lines and any false pretenses. Women aren’t stupid. (they’re actually smarter than us, guys) and they can smell a phoney a mile away.

Simply make sure you’re well groomed and smell nice, then just talk to her naturally. Talk about her, not yourself. Remember, the key is making her feel special. And don’t try to hit a home run the first night. Make a date for another night.

If she likes you, you’ll know it. She may even give you her phone number without you asking for it.

When you meet her for your date, bring a dozen red roses. And take her to dinner at a nice restaurant, not your local burger joint.

Also, be a gentleman. That means opening her car door, holding doors for her, pulling out her chair at the restaurant, taking her coat, etc.

During dinner, focus all of your attention on her. Look directly into her eyes while you’re talking to her. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT look at any other women while you are with her.

And whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH HER, unless she initiates contact first.

During dinner, she will give you signals about whether or not you will have the honor of spending time with her intimately. You’re already half way home, because she liked you enough to go out with you in the first place.

And as long as you don’t do something ridiculous or embarrassing during dinner, you should make out just fine.

Jumping ahead to your place or her place. Don’t be in a rush to make something happen. Sit and talk with her for a while and let things progress naturally. At some point you will end up kissing her. Kiss her with controlled passion. Don’t jam your tongue down her throat!

Suggest giving her a massage and rub her body gently, using nice circular, sensual motions. Make sure you massage her both front and back. Eventually, you want to start gently kissing all over her body, slowly working down to her clitoris.

Again, it’s important not to rush. Begin licking her clitoris in a slow, circular motion. Be gentle. She’ll let you know if she wants you to apply more pressure. Keep licking her clit while playing with her breasts at the same time. Develop a nice steady rthym and eventually you’ll bring her to an orgasm.

Some women get really sensitive after having an orgasm and will ask you to stop. However, if she doesn’t stop you, just keep going bringing her to orgasm after orgasm. At some point she will want to pleasure you. And when she does, you are going to experience one of the most pleasurable nights of your life. I guarantee it!

About The Author

Dean Phillips is an Internet marketing expert, writer, publisher and entrepreneur. Questions? Comments? Dean can be reached at mailto: [mailto:dean@lets-make-money.net]dean@lets-make-money.net

Make Money Online! Internet marketing expert, Dean Phillips will help you make money online, starting today…Guaranteed! For details just visit my website.

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I am sitting here so unsure of what to do anymore. I’ve never asked anyone for help of this type, as many people come to me for answers. I am a social worker and my husband is a psychologist. We should have the answers, but we just don’t.

We have been married 10 years and have an 8-year-old daughter. The problem as I see it is my husband refuses to help out at home. He will not do anything associated with domestic work. He does not mow the lawn. What he does is work a full-time job, play music in a band on weekends, and play in two sports leagues.

He is very negative, and over the past few years, increasingly critical of me and everything I do or don’t do. I work a full-time job with a private practice on the side. I take care of everything and somehow manage to stay sane. When I bring up the unfairness of our roles, I am always met with, “I don’t want to hear about it. Shut up. Go away. Leave me alone.”

I work my butt off every single day and am so tired. Yes, I get crabby sometimes, but it is because I feel I am living in a hopeless situation. I feel more resentful as the years go by, and my blood pressure was high enough to start medication two years ago.

We are in debt because my husband returned to school seven years ago to get his Ph.D. Divorcing now would probably ruin us both financially. He tells our daughter we will never divorce, yet when an argument starts, he tells me we should get a divorce and end it. I am not one to give in easily, but I don’t feel he loves me. I feel used.

Priscilla

Priscilla, in what book or counseling session did your husband learn to settle arguments by threatening his spouse with divorce? In what class on conflict resolution did he find that little gem? People who are pretty amiable and choose to stay together, usually can. But when one person won’t participate, there is nothing you can do.

Your husband is treating your house like a bed and breakfast–all the amenities of a home without any of the responsibilities. Behavior follows feelings, and his behavior supports your belief that he does not love you.

You don’t give up easily, but you know how this often plays out. When a woman has been doing it all, even if the husband is finally willing to make an effort, it is too late. The wife is already dead emotionally. You already feel used, and there are limits to how much criticism a person can take.

Lay your cards on the table. It’s one thing if he is willing to do the talk, meditation, body work, or whatever it takes to break him loose from where he has been as a person. It is another not to be willing to begin.

You are not one to give in easily, but when sailors drown, it is not because they lack resolve but because they are dealing with forces beyond their control. In finding the limits to what you can do in your own life, you may have learned what you can and cannot do to help others.

Wayne and Tamara

Horse’s Mouth

We’ve been a couple for two years. If all goes well, we will probably marry. Recently she started making remarks like “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “if things don’t work out, I hope I find someone just like you.” What do you think?

Skip

Skip, the closer you are to someone, the more you can end their sentences. The farther apart you are, the more you say, “Huh, what did you mean by that?” She’s got you saying, “Huh?” Close the distance and ask her what she means.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

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